This weekend I tried a new and novel type of exercise. It involves propelling yourself with some velocity using a two-wheeled apparatus. I believe it was called Sykling, or some such thing.
That's right, I actually got on a bike this weekend. And not a stationary one. With the clear air and warmer temperatures it was hard to resist. I had originally planned to go by myself. Better to suffer in silence and exaggerate the results than to have any witnesses to the event. But Friday evening Cobourn started sending Facebook messages. The thing about Facebook messages is that people can tell if you've seen and then ignored them. Soon I was getting texts that said "I KNOW YOU SAW THAT MESSAGE!" I couldn't avoid it any longer.
Since I was on call for work I had to persuade Cobourn to take a shorter route with bailout options. It took some convincing but he finally caved in.(<----Sarcasm) Originally an 80 mile route, then a 50, by the time we were done we clocked in around 22 miles. It was so good to be out though. Our return route sent us around Dimple Dell Park which I had never done before. Not sure who the bastard is that put the 12% climb at the end of what would otherwise be a lovely scenic ride. As I was grunting up the last few hundred yards I heard somebody shout "Woo-hoo!" Looking back there were some kids sledding on the hill behind me. When I looked back one of the little girls shouted out "Keep going, you can do it!" Which at once embarrassed and motivated me. As Cobourn later said, if it wasn't so adorable it would have seemed patronizing.
I had been back on the wagon food wise. Several days of eating clean. Since I take the weekends off I find myself rationalizing a lot on Fridays. Friday morning is part of the weekend, right? I went into a Maverik just to get a drink and noticed something that caught my eye in the hot counter. The Maverik "Breakfast Beast". It looked interesting enough. Bacon, sausage, ham, eggs, and cheese. It appeared to be on some kind of Ciabatta bread and looked delicious. I bought it and shuffled out to my van to eat it like some kind of pervert getting his porno. I opened up the plastic box it was in and took a big bite. The fancy bread was actually a freaking doughnut. Even I have my limits. That thing was disgusting. It had a squirt of some kind of Maple sauce on the bottom. I hate maple. I put peanut butter and jelly on pancakes and waffles. I was forced to chuck the bun/doughnut and scrape the maple jizz off the meat and my tongue. It felt like God was instantly punishing me for a bad food decision. I showed him, and went to Five Guys for dinner.
With the ride, and a slightly less depressed attitude toward training I would call the weekend a positive. We'll see how that carries into the next week.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Fat Tuesday
Overwhelming demand for an update on my chubby status today. Here's the thing. Totally off the wagon. Maybe not totally, but I have not exercised for a couple weeks. The flu thing, the Frozen Hog thing, that lazy as hell thing. I do have a minor excuse in that both my mountain bike and my road bike are currently going through a warranty replacement process. This means they are both sitting at the shop. I could ride my fixie, or either one of my cross bikes, or one of the several half assembled outdated P.O.S.'s in the shed but I have not.
I'm considering buying rollers. I'm not sure why I think that might help. I have two trainers and am loathe to ride either one of them. Maybe the added excitement of careening off into a wall due to a lapse in attention will do the trick.
Spent some time at the shop today listening "Big Rick" hand out training advice. That dude loves rollers. And he is apparently awesome at them. I am not sure that I will be awesome at them but Rick has lots of ideas for intervals and such. Intervals...yay!
I am missing exactly one major thing in this regimen. Motivation in the form of a goal. Two years ago I had yet to complete the Crusher in the Tushar. I was not sure I would be able to do it. So out of fear, I worked hard to up my chances of being able to finish. The race has a 9 hour cutoff. I didn't think I would be able to finish what was originally supposed to be an 80 mile race with 12K feet of climbing in that time. Once in century snowfall forced alteration of the course and it ended up slightly shorter with slightly less climbing. 70 miles, 10K of climbing. Still a bitch mind you, but shorter. The course has not been altered since it's inception. That year, I was in better shape than I had been since the 90's. Not threatening a podium position or anything but I had a goal, and worked toward that goal. Got a little sick a month before the race and backslid just a touch. Short story long I completed the race with a slightly below average time but I survived.
The following year I did not train. I signed up again because it was so fun the first time(<---sarcasm). I was a little scared about my ability to finish the race again but I wasn't much heavier than the year before and I had some more appropriate gearing. Did the race and was only 30 mins slower. It was cold and rainy and that weather favors the pudgey. That year I also signed up for the Park City Point to Point. A mostly singletrack race with more climbing. The ads for the race ask the question "Can You Do It?" The answer to that question ended up being "Yes." Out of sheer good fortune the weather was shitty for that one too. So shitty they cut 12 miles off the course. So, I was able to finish with the asterisk that it was a shortened course. Signed up again for the Crusher in the Tushar, probably take a pass on the P2P.
The takeaway from all this is that blue collar work ethic and determination are enough to drag my ass across just about any finish line I set out for. The downside is that it makes me feel like I don't really have to train. The only remaining motivation to lose weight is the look good naked thing. At this point I'm thinking of trying to get into chubby guy porn. They say there's an ass for every seat.
Still down about 10 pounds from where I started. I just need to find something to get my ass out of bed at 5 am. Anybody want to volunteer to be my wake up call?
Morning Weigh in:
I'm considering buying rollers. I'm not sure why I think that might help. I have two trainers and am loathe to ride either one of them. Maybe the added excitement of careening off into a wall due to a lapse in attention will do the trick.
Spent some time at the shop today listening "Big Rick" hand out training advice. That dude loves rollers. And he is apparently awesome at them. I am not sure that I will be awesome at them but Rick has lots of ideas for intervals and such. Intervals...yay!
I am missing exactly one major thing in this regimen. Motivation in the form of a goal. Two years ago I had yet to complete the Crusher in the Tushar. I was not sure I would be able to do it. So out of fear, I worked hard to up my chances of being able to finish. The race has a 9 hour cutoff. I didn't think I would be able to finish what was originally supposed to be an 80 mile race with 12K feet of climbing in that time. Once in century snowfall forced alteration of the course and it ended up slightly shorter with slightly less climbing. 70 miles, 10K of climbing. Still a bitch mind you, but shorter. The course has not been altered since it's inception. That year, I was in better shape than I had been since the 90's. Not threatening a podium position or anything but I had a goal, and worked toward that goal. Got a little sick a month before the race and backslid just a touch. Short story long I completed the race with a slightly below average time but I survived.
The following year I did not train. I signed up again because it was so fun the first time(<---sarcasm). I was a little scared about my ability to finish the race again but I wasn't much heavier than the year before and I had some more appropriate gearing. Did the race and was only 30 mins slower. It was cold and rainy and that weather favors the pudgey. That year I also signed up for the Park City Point to Point. A mostly singletrack race with more climbing. The ads for the race ask the question "Can You Do It?" The answer to that question ended up being "Yes." Out of sheer good fortune the weather was shitty for that one too. So shitty they cut 12 miles off the course. So, I was able to finish with the asterisk that it was a shortened course. Signed up again for the Crusher in the Tushar, probably take a pass on the P2P.
The takeaway from all this is that blue collar work ethic and determination are enough to drag my ass across just about any finish line I set out for. The downside is that it makes me feel like I don't really have to train. The only remaining motivation to lose weight is the look good naked thing. At this point I'm thinking of trying to get into chubby guy porn. They say there's an ass for every seat.
Still down about 10 pounds from where I started. I just need to find something to get my ass out of bed at 5 am. Anybody want to volunteer to be my wake up call?
Morning Weigh in:
- 190.5
- 25.6%
- Total weight loss 9.5 lbs.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Day...Whatever.
Off track. The flu thing followed IMMEDIATELY by the Frozen Hog made it pretty impossible to do anything consistently. Most of my cardio came in the form of panicked reactions to weather. As the race came closer I started to justify dietary indiscretions by telling myself I was offsetting them with stress and the occasional lap around the course.
It all culminated after the race. Took a celebratory trip to The Rocky Mountain Wing Shack. It's a little discouraging to be telling people you are in the midst of a training program and then walk into the "The Shack" and have the guy behind the counter know your order before you say it. (XX-Hot Lunch Special with Fries instead of Tots and two fry sauces instead of Blue Cheese for the record.)
Sunday morning I was comfortably back into the 190's.
Depression set in and then it was the Super Bowl. Now, for the record, I don't give two shits about the Super Bowl. I have a bad habit of telling people how much I don't give two shits about the Super Bowl. But it's true. I don't really care about commercials either. Which of course, leaves food. The best thing about the Super Bowl as far as I'm concerned is food served buffet style. Magically I am protected from the food poisoning that could come from cocktail shrimp left on the counter for three hours. Veggie trays whose sole purpose is to be a vehicle for Ranch dressing. Creative ways to combine candy and salty foods. In a fun twist there were three versions of multi-layer dips. Lots of guacamole/bean/sour cream/ type things. They were rad. What was cool was the "second half" meal. Pretty much just a cookie sheet with "Buffalo-Style Chicken Tenders" out of the freezer. It felt like I was cheating on the Wing Shack. Technically I was cheating on my diet with the Wing Shack. So I was basically cheating on my mistress. I was in deep.
When I went to bed Sunday night I was feeling pretty puffy. I should have resolved that I was going to jump back in and hit the workouts really hard on Monday. I didn't.
I managed to get back on the food wagon. Busy days at work helped. You'll notice I didn't weigh in on Monday. I couldn't bring myself to. But after what I felt like was a pretty good food day I did weigh in on Tuesday morning and was pleasantly surprised. Back in the 180's. So for those keeping track at home I am still down more than 10 pounds. Which AIN'T too shabby for pretty much taking a week off after the first week on. I haven't worked out at all this week. That might get better, but diet wise I almost don't have to punch things in anymore because I just know what I can and can't eat. It's like I'm a dietician.
Hopefully back on that pony tomorrow.
Morning Weigh-In:
It all culminated after the race. Took a celebratory trip to The Rocky Mountain Wing Shack. It's a little discouraging to be telling people you are in the midst of a training program and then walk into the "The Shack" and have the guy behind the counter know your order before you say it. (XX-Hot Lunch Special with Fries instead of Tots and two fry sauces instead of Blue Cheese for the record.)
Sunday morning I was comfortably back into the 190's.
Depression set in and then it was the Super Bowl. Now, for the record, I don't give two shits about the Super Bowl. I have a bad habit of telling people how much I don't give two shits about the Super Bowl. But it's true. I don't really care about commercials either. Which of course, leaves food. The best thing about the Super Bowl as far as I'm concerned is food served buffet style. Magically I am protected from the food poisoning that could come from cocktail shrimp left on the counter for three hours. Veggie trays whose sole purpose is to be a vehicle for Ranch dressing. Creative ways to combine candy and salty foods. In a fun twist there were three versions of multi-layer dips. Lots of guacamole/bean/sour cream/ type things. They were rad. What was cool was the "second half" meal. Pretty much just a cookie sheet with "Buffalo-Style Chicken Tenders" out of the freezer. It felt like I was cheating on the Wing Shack. Technically I was cheating on my diet with the Wing Shack. So I was basically cheating on my mistress. I was in deep.
When I went to bed Sunday night I was feeling pretty puffy. I should have resolved that I was going to jump back in and hit the workouts really hard on Monday. I didn't.
I managed to get back on the food wagon. Busy days at work helped. You'll notice I didn't weigh in on Monday. I couldn't bring myself to. But after what I felt like was a pretty good food day I did weigh in on Tuesday morning and was pleasantly surprised. Back in the 180's. So for those keeping track at home I am still down more than 10 pounds. Which AIN'T too shabby for pretty much taking a week off after the first week on. I haven't worked out at all this week. That might get better, but diet wise I almost don't have to punch things in anymore because I just know what I can and can't eat. It's like I'm a dietician.
Hopefully back on that pony tomorrow.
Morning Weigh-In:
- 189.2
- 24.3%
- Total Weight Loss: 10.8 lbs
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